A woman, employed as a telemarketer, was making phone calls to different households.
A little boy answered and whispered, "Hello". The woman asked if his mother was there. The little boy whispered, "Yes". The woman asked if she could speak with her. The little boy whispered, "No, she's busy."
The woman asked if his father was there. The little boy whispered, "Yes". The woman asked if she could speak with him. The little boy whispered, "No, he's busy too." The woman asked if anyone else was there and the little boy whispered, "Yes, the fire department is here". The woman said, "May I speak with one of them?" The little boy whispered, "No, they're all busy."
The woman asked if anyone else was there, the little boy whispered, "Yes, the police department ". The woman said, "May I speak with one of them?" The little boy whispered, "No, they're all busy too." The woman said, "May I ask what they're all doing?" The little boy whispered, "They're all looking for me."
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Helmets in Cricket
There are recorded instances of cricketers using towels, scarves and padded caps to protect themselves throughout cricket history.
Patsy Hendren was one of the first to use a self designed protective hat in the 1930s. Helmets were not in common use until the 1970s. Mike Brearley was another player who wore his own design.
Graham Yallop of Australia was the first to wear a protective helmet to a test match on 17 March 1978 when playing against West Indies at Bridgetown. Later Dennis Amiss of England popularized it in Test cricket.
Tony Greig was of the opinion that helmets would make cricket more dangerous by encouraging bowlers to bounce the batsmen.
Patsy Hendren was one of the first to use a self designed protective hat in the 1930s. Helmets were not in common use until the 1970s. Mike Brearley was another player who wore his own design.
Graham Yallop of Australia was the first to wear a protective helmet to a test match on 17 March 1978 when playing against West Indies at Bridgetown. Later Dennis Amiss of England popularized it in Test cricket.
Tony Greig was of the opinion that helmets would make cricket more dangerous by encouraging bowlers to bounce the batsmen.
Double Hat-trick
Thomas James Matthews, the Australian legspinner took hat-tricks in each innings of a Test match against South Africa in 1912. He represented Australia in eight Tests and claimed 16 wickets.
UEFA Championship
UEFA European Championship trophy derives its name from Henri Delaunay, a French Football administrator, who was instrumental in conceptualising and creation of the championships. The trophy is called The Henri Delaunay Cup.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Slippery Ice
Ice isn't slippery. What makes people and things slip on ice is water. A thin layer of ice melts when pressure is applied to it and it is this wet layer on top of the ice that is slippery.
Mona Lisa
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off!
Super Glue
Super Glue was invented by accident. The researcher was trying to make optical coating materials, and would test their properties by putting them between two prisms and shining light through them. When he tried the cyano-acrylate, he couldn't get the prisms apart.
ENIAC
The first electronic digital computer called ENIAC - the Electronic Numerical Integrator and Calculator, was developed in 1946 and contained over 18,000 vacuum tubes.
Robert Langdon
Da Vinci code Author Dan Brown named main character Robert Langdon after John Langdon, a close friend and typography master who worked with Brown on an ambigram logo for another of his books, "Angels And Demons".
Power of Whiskey
While filming “The African Queen” (1950) in the Congo, everybody on the crew, including Katherine Hepburn, became extremely ill from drinking the water. Everybody that is, except Humphrey Bogart, who only drank Whiskey.
Jeep
The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle - G.P.
Heavy Education
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
Doctors Strike
Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!
The Dietitian
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
"Wedding cake."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
"Wedding cake."
Winning Numbers
Question: Why does a man twist his wedding ring on his finger?
Answer: He’s trying to figure out the combination.
Answer: He’s trying to figure out the combination.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thats Real Fast!!!
Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow his film down so you could see his moves.
Human Lungs
The right lung of a human is larger than the left one. This is because of the space and placement of the heart.
Playing Card Kings
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades – King David
Clubs – Alexander the Great
Hearts – Charlemagne
Diamonds – Julius Caesar
Spades – King David
Clubs – Alexander the Great
Hearts – Charlemagne
Diamonds – Julius Caesar
Horse Statues
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
The Pyramid
The Great Pyramid at Giza in Egypt holds a constant temperature of 68 degrees Fahrenheit.
Alexander Graham Bell
Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never called his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
Jeff Dujon
Jeff Dujon of the West Indies completed 267 dismissals as a wicket keeper during his career of 81 Tests, of which only 5 were stumpings, because West Indies depended on their pace attack during that time.
Lawyer's Wife
A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads:
"Here lies Shirley, wife of Sam Johnson, LLD, Wills, Divorce, Malpractice, and Immigration Legal Services"
Suddenly, Sam bursts into tears. His brother says, "You SHOULD cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on Shirley's tombstone!"
Through his tears, Sam sobs, "You don't understand! They left out the phone number!"
"Here lies Shirley, wife of Sam Johnson, LLD, Wills, Divorce, Malpractice, and Immigration Legal Services"
Suddenly, Sam bursts into tears. His brother says, "You SHOULD cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on Shirley's tombstone!"
Through his tears, Sam sobs, "You don't understand! They left out the phone number!"
Deaf Driver
A lady was driving on the highway, making sure to stay within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear view mirror, much to her dismay she saw a police car not far behind. And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his flashing lights.
She thought to herself, "I'm not speeding, I haven't been drinking, I'm not texting, I have my seat belt on and I renewed my license plates." Mystified, she pulled over and the police car pulled in behind her.
She rolled down the window. When the police officer approached, the lady pointed to her ear and shook her head to indicate that she was deaf.
The policeman smiled and signed back, "I know. I stopped you to tell you that your horn is stuck."
She thought to herself, "I'm not speeding, I haven't been drinking, I'm not texting, I have my seat belt on and I renewed my license plates." Mystified, she pulled over and the police car pulled in behind her.
She rolled down the window. When the police officer approached, the lady pointed to her ear and shook her head to indicate that she was deaf.
The policeman smiled and signed back, "I know. I stopped you to tell you that your horn is stuck."
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Fulgurite
Fulgurite is the name for fossilized lightning.
They are natural hollow glass tubes formed in quartzose sand, or silica, or soil by lightning strikes and are formed when lightning with a temperature of at least 1,800 degrees Celsius instantaneously melts silica on a conductive surface and fuses the grains together.
They are natural hollow glass tubes formed in quartzose sand, or silica, or soil by lightning strikes and are formed when lightning with a temperature of at least 1,800 degrees Celsius instantaneously melts silica on a conductive surface and fuses the grains together.
Clean Bowled
a test match in Faisalabad in 1997-98, Mushtaq Ahmed was bowling to Pat Symcox. Symcox missed the ball,which went on to knock the middle stump.However,the heat had fused together the bails and they did not fall. Symcox went on to make 81,his second highest test score..!!
Tax Evasion
Research into papers relating to Hitler has uncovered the fact that when he became chancellor of Germany in 1934 he had evaded paying 405,500 million Reichsmarks in tax (6.3 million USD in today’s currency).
Fortunately for Hitler, he was forgiven his tax debts when he was elected. It is believed that he earned 1.2 million Reichsmarks for sales of Mein Kampf alone, and avoided paying 600,000 Reichsmarks in tax on it.
The official who forgave Hitler’s tax debt was “rewarded” with a 2,000 Reichsmarks per month tax free allowance (a huge amount considering teachers at the time were paid 4,800 per annum).
Fortunately for Hitler, he was forgiven his tax debts when he was elected. It is believed that he earned 1.2 million Reichsmarks for sales of Mein Kampf alone, and avoided paying 600,000 Reichsmarks in tax on it.
The official who forgave Hitler’s tax debt was “rewarded” with a 2,000 Reichsmarks per month tax free allowance (a huge amount considering teachers at the time were paid 4,800 per annum).
Security Questions
I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my wife was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. "Has anyone given you any packages that you didn't pack yourself?" he asked.
I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her daughter. He paused for a second, looked at me very carefully and asked: "Does she like you?"
I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her daughter. He paused for a second, looked at me very carefully and asked: "Does she like you?"
Great Relationship
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts.
He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts.
He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Listerine
The phrase "Often a bridesmaid but never a bride" actually comes from an advertisement for Listerine mouthwash. The text was written by Milton Feasley and first appeared in 1925.The advertisement was so successful that it ran for more than ten years.
The Ancient Castle
A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe.
"This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."
"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do."
"This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."
"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do."
Lazy Employee
The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.
"Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily.
"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.
Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said, "Here's a week's pay -- now get out and don't come back!"
Turning to one of the supervisors, he said, "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"
"He's not an employee," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza!"
"Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily.
"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.
Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said, "Here's a week's pay -- now get out and don't come back!"
Turning to one of the supervisors, he said, "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"
"He's not an employee," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza!"
Monday, June 18, 2012
Cricket Laws
The first laws of cricket were written in 1774. Since then they have been changed on numerous occasions. Pretty much everything has changed since then. The early cricket bats were long curved pieces of wood resembling a thick hockey stick. The stumps consisted of two wickets and one bail in between.
The only law of the game that has remained constant is the length of the pitch at 22 yards.
The only law of the game that has remained constant is the length of the pitch at 22 yards.
Skylab
Skylab, the first American space station, fell to the earth in thousands of pieces in 1979. Thankfully most over the ocean.
Changing Diapers
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"
The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"
Say Something Positive
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, every thing else is either sagging or bloated. I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
Services for the husband will be held Saturday morning at 10:30 AM at Morris Memorial Chapel. Female friends of the family are invited.
"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, every thing else is either sagging or bloated. I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby."
She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
Services for the husband will be held Saturday morning at 10:30 AM at Morris Memorial Chapel. Female friends of the family are invited.
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